My story is not easy for me to write about. It not only involves a long, painful journey for me, but also the influence of other people, and how I managed to overcome some things but not others. I’d love it if my story could be one long triumphal march – but alas, no. Like pretty much everybody else, it’s full of fits and starts, some truly fantastic mistakes on my part, and a lot of stumbling about blind, looking for answers. My story is not straightforward.
I’m normally a very private person, and the idea of writing about the problems I had, the traumas I suffered, and the powerful influences that developed my eating disorder and depression terrifies me. Like most people, I’m afraid of being judged, and if I tell my story here, what will people think of me? Will those things come back to haunt me in later years – because once you put something on the internet, it’s there forever.
But my story is part of who I am, no matter how hard it might be to write about. So I will be posting it, in parts, as I go along. And I hope that you will find some help in it, some hope or understanding somewhere in my story. I know that I have.