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Leaps Forward

I’m a couple of days into this Round* of the 12WBT program now and I’m seeing some very interesting things crop up as, I think, a direct result of doing the last Round (which was my first). I didn’t lose much weight last time, and I’d put it all back on in the last couple of weeks as the wheels fell off to a large extent. I had struggled from about 4 weeks in, particularly with getting myself to exercise.

I should explain how big this particular issue was for me. Firstly, in all the “diets” I’ve ever done, the one thing I had no trouble doing was getting up to exercise. I would struggle to eat only lite foods – but training was never the issue. For most of my life, I’ve been active, with some periods where I’ve been downright fit. So finding myself reluctant to do any exercise at all really bothered me.  At first I thought it was because I’d injured my knee back in March (torn tendon), then I was worried I was developing a heart condition (my brother had a massive heart attack a couple of years ago at the same age I am now). Then I started treatment for my knee – which included careful exercise, and my doctor pointed out I’m a hypochondriac with a little asthma from the cold air :-).

The down side to this exercise story is that all of that happened with 4 weeks to go on that last round, and I still didn’t exercise!

But then, in the last week of Round 2 (my first round) I began a massive shift in perspective so subtle I didn’t notice until it had already happened. I kept seeing before and after pictures of other people finishing off Round 2, people who had been successful – and what I saw in those pictures was ME! I saw myself in the before shots, and shockingly, for the first time I also saw myself in the after shots. And the women who had achieved this weight loss talked about how much they loved being on the program, how they liked their new lives, new bodies, their healthier attitude towards food, emotions, life etc – and something shifted deep inside me.

I could see the other end of the path. I could see “life after diet”. Not only that, but “life after diet” wasn’t the grim, colourless, joyless deprivation required for me not to put the weight back on, and nor was it the unbridled ravishing of every unhealthy food on the planet as I binged to make up for lost eating time. It was instead, a pleasant, fun, tasty, organized, active lovely life.

For the first time ever, I could look forward at my goal of weight loss and not feel dread and horror, and instead feel only anticipation. This is what fuels my confidence now. Not because I don’t think I’ll have any more problems, but because I can see where I will be if I just keep going. I know it’s doable – because I’ve seen the evidence with my own eyes, real solid evidence.

And it feels damned good.

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